Tuesday, May 29, 2012

The arc of the universe


 Juniper and I were recently talking about eyes and the different eye colors in our family. This led to an oversimplified talk about genetics, in which I made some comment about how every person gets half of her DNA from her mom and half from her dad. Juniper indignantly interrupted me to announce, “But some kids have two moms!” This sparked a conversation about the difference between your biological parents (a man and a woman, parts of whose bodies combined to make your body) and your real parents (the people who love you most and care for you and make a family with you). Juniper was interested and full of questions. These are tough concepts to grasp, and I know she was fuzzy on the details, but I think she got the gist. At the very least, she got enough to satisfy her own curiosity at the moment, and eventually we moved on to some other topic.

Four year olds have a hard time with abstract ideas, but they can be fierce in their defense of What They Know Is True. When I started spouting some crazy nonsense about how all kids have a mom and a dad, Juniper called me to task because she knows that isn’t true. She has friends with two moms, and even a kid—perhaps especially a kid—can see that those families are as real as any other. Many people of our generation have chosen to stand on the side of love, but it has never crossed Juniper’s mind that there could be any other side. Families are families; moms are moms; love is love. What’s complicated about that? I’m grateful to live in a time and place where my child can take these things for granted. I expect that one day, she will be horrified and baffled to learn that not long ago, there was a time in our country when same-sex couples couldn’t marry.

Are we there yet? No. Are we bending toward justice? Absolutely.

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