Chalice Lighter

At many Unitarian Universalist congregations, including UUCA, we begin worship services by lighting a flame inside a chalice. At UUCA, children and youth light the chalice and lead the congregation in reciting our chalice lighting words. Juniper has seen other kids lighting the chalice and has observed that one day, when she's a big kid, she's going to light the chalice.

By at least one measure, Juniper is now a big kid. She lit the chalice for the first time today. I cannot be modest or humble or circumspect. She was awesome. She was cheerful, excited, and focused. When it came time to ask the congregation to "please say the chalice lighting words with me," she spoke clearly and projected with a big voice that everyone in the sanctuary could hear. I was proud of her and grateful to be part of a congregation that gives even young children the opportunity to be responsible for an important part of the service.

It's been a good month for our family at UUCA. Last week, I was inspired to write a little about Juniper's connection to UUCA. It makes for a much longer blog post than we usually have, but click on "read more" below if you're interested.


Juniper was excited about the heart stole and proclaimed herself "Peace Girl." Most days, she is some sort of superhero. Peace Girl seems like a pretty good fit for UUCA.



Juniper wanted me to come down with her, but she did the actual chalice lighting almost all by herself. She needed a little reminder to put out the candle once she was done, and she was so pleased about having successfully lit the chalice that she almost forgot about the chalice lighting words.

In case you're curious, there are two chalice lighters listed because there are two services. Our family attends the little-kid friendly early service.

Aaron and I met at the First Unitarian Church in Baltimore, and when we moved down to Atlanta we quickly found a home at the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Atlanta. Juniper has been attending UUCA her entire life. As a newborn, she would sleep through the service, cradled in our laps and arms or snuggled in her baby sling. When she was a few months older, Aaron and I took turns in the quiet room, listening to (or being distracted from) the service while Juniper babbled, played with her toys, and sometimes cried. Once Juniper could crawl, we started sending her to the nursery, which was her first experience with non-family caregivers. The summer after she turned three, Juniper started attending RE (religious education). That summer, UUCA’s RE program was a science series inspired by the They Might Be Giants’ album Here Comes Science. Our little scientist was delighted to attend “science church.” Somewhere along the way, we held a lovely child dedication service for her and Violet, though that was more of a milestone for the grownups than a formative experience for the children.

At UUCA, children in RE attend the first part of the service with the grownups. They are in the sanctuary for a couple of hymns, the welcome, and the chalice lighting. The chalice is a symbol of Unitarian Universalism, and most congregations light a chalice at the start of their service. Juniper can recite the words of the chalice lighting along with the congregation, and she often draws chalices in the program to occupy herself during the dull moments before going to RE. Juniper has a particular affinity for the music director, and occasionally gives him her chalice drawings on the way to her RE class. I think she’s naturally drawn to his charisma, and that affection has been strengthened by his support for her unconventional costume choices for the annual Christmas Eve pageant.

Her favorite part of being in “the big church” is the time when we greet our neighbors. Juniper greets everyone around her with a warm hug, whether they are people we know well or people we’ve never seen before. I think her affection and friendliness have touched people in ways we don’t even know. One Sunday after the service, a woman came up to us and told us that her husband had passed away the previous week. She came to church looking for community and comfort but arrived late and snuck into a seat near the door and away from people she knew well. She was feeling lonely and sad, when Juniper came up to her and gave her a giant hug. She spoke tearfully of the comfort that Juniper gave her and the feeling that Juniper’s hug was exactly what she needed at that moment. People, especially older adults, often tell us after the greeting what a special and delightful child we have.  We do, and part of the reason she is so special and delightful is that she is growing up in community and surrounded by love. UUCA isn’t our only loving community, but it’s an important one for our family. Aaron and I are consistently inspired and amazed by the youth at UUCA, and we frequently express our gratitude that Juniper and Hazel will be growing up into young people like them. We often think in future tense about how our girls will grow up into older children, adolescents, teens, and young adults like the youth of UUCA. Seeing Juniper at church today, I realized the obvious: she isn’t going to grow up like the youth of UUCA; she is the youth of UUCA. She isn’t going to be part of a terrific church community; she already is part of that community, and not just as an extension of her parents.

When we arrived at church today, we realized that we had left our nametags in the car. We quickly decided I would drop Hazel off in the nursery while Aaron ran back to the car for the nametags. Before we could ask Juniper which parent she would accompany, she matter-of-factly said that she would go on into the sanctuary and get us seats. And so she did. When I came into the sanctuary, Aaron was sitting with Juniper and her friend Abigail. Juniper and Abigail met in RE and have become fast friends. Abigail was at church today with just her grandmother, who is in the choir. When asked about a friend she could sit with while her grandmother was with the choir, Abigail excitedly told her grandmother that she wanted to sit with Juniper. It’s nice to see that Juniper’s adoration of Abigail is mutual. A little later, our friend Lydia and her daughter Ocean arrived. They sat next to us, with the three girls together on the outside of the pew. They drew together, danced in the aisle during the songs, giggled a little too much and got a couple of stern looks from me and Lydia. At Juniper’s request, both of the other girls wrote their names in her program. I think Juniper was showing off for her friends when she recited the chalice lighting words more loudly and clearly than usual. When it was time to go to RE, I started to walk Juniper down the aisle and out to class, as one of us does every week. She whispered up to me, “I don’t need you to go with me. I wanna do it by myself.” I stood next to Aaron, trying to sing but momentarily unable to focus on the words in the hymnal because my eyes were blurred with tears. I watched Juniper walk down the aisle, across the floor of the sanctuary, and out the door, holding hands with her friend Abigail the whole time.