Quotable Hazel

[After sneezing] I did a bless you.


Why did the turtle cross the road? To find a shell!


Why did the moster not share? Because it was a goldfish!
[Actual joke that Juniper learned from her joke book and tried to teach Hazel: Why didn't the lobster share? Because it's a shellfish!]


I gotta good idea. I gotta good plan.


[Protesting the application of her nightly eczema lotion] It's my body! I didn't ask you.


[Insistently shaking her hand in a karate chop motion] I be right back in three minutes. I be right back in three minutes.


[In the car]
Sally: Juniper, do you want to talk with me, or are you reading?
Juniper: I'm reading.
Hazel: I can talk with you, mama.