Hazel: Mom, you're off from work tomorrow? Why? Is it veterinarian's day?
Juniper: Mom? Dad wants you, for some inscrutable grown up reason.
Hazel (describing what it's like to have a sister): Sometimes you think she's so stupid it's like her brains have been scooped out with a spoon and you just want her to go away, but sometimes you love her so much and you just want to put your head in her jacket to be close to her.
Juniper: Siri is the iPad thing. Alexa is the one that plays music and does 20 questions. Google Home does everything Alexa does plus turns on and off the lights.
Hazel (indignant at being separated from her cousin after they crawled under a long row of chairs to the other side of the sanctuary during a church service): But you never told us not to!
Sally: I also never told you not to throw the hymnals at people.
Hazel: But that's a social norm!
Juniper (on poetry): It is toothpaste and farts and donkeys eating burritos!
With thanks to US Poet Laureate Juan Felipe Herrera for his book Jabberwalking.
Hazel: Have you ever eaten your eye boogers? (pause) They're pretty good.
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